When I began my naturopathic medical practice, I did not realize what an issue libido was for women (and men, too). I quickly learned that MANY patients have concerns about their libido – mostly that their once-strong desire has dissipated with the addition of age, stresses, kids, jobs, etc. Often one person’s desire is a mismatch for the desire of their partner, creating stress in the relationship. Sound familiar?
Sexual desire is very individual. While some folks have desire daily, others feel desire once a week, once a month, or seldom. Comparing yourself to someone else is useless! Just because a TV personality, your mom, or your best friend says you should have desire a certain number of times per week does NOT mean that’s normal. What IS normal libido? Simple… there is none! When we talk about “normal libido,” we have to take societal averages out of the conversation and focus on what feels right for YOU.
Many factors inform our desire, including stress, hormonal levels, nutrient status, how we feel about our partner, how we were raised, and how much we sleep. One thing that often stuns my patients, when we talk about libido, is that often desire comes AFTER connection with their partner. If we make time in our days for true intimacy and connection, often the desire flows freely. But, if we wait for desire to initiate intimacy and connection, we may be waiting a long time. There are so many distractions in our lives, that scheduling alone time with our partner (or ourselves) is essential to connecting into our desire.
How can you connect with your desire? Can you schedule time with your partner (or yourself) to remove distractions and allow yourself to relax? Often that’s all that’s needed. A visit to your naturopathic physician may uncover nutrient deficiencies or hormonal imbalances that can be at the root of low libido. Stress management, in the form of yoga, meditation, Tai Chi, or psychotherapy can also be helpful. And don’t underestimate the universal need to engage our passions – whatever they may be. What are you passionate about? How can you bring more passion for life INTO your life? When we allow ourselves to pursue our passions, often libido follows.
How Antioxidants Help Libido
I am often asked which supplement I suggest to boost libido. (Believe it or not, this is a common question at parties!) My answer is not what you’d think, because it has nothing to do with hormones. One of the most common nutritional deficiencies in the modern diet is antioxidants, which help us to detoxify and rid ourselves of waste products, which in turn protects our cells from damage. Boosting antioxidant status can really boost energy and libido. Incorporating ItWorks! Greens chews into your day is a great way to get the antioxidants you need.
These chews are a great energy pick-me up in the afternoon and many folks report a wonderful “side effect” of increased libido. Don’t overdo it – chewing 1-2 of these per day packs an amazing antioxidant punch.